Liz Timoney Consulting
Top 3 reasons why successful people itch for 'something more.'
Written by Liz Timoney,  May 2018
Ever had an overwhelming desire for change, meaning and freedom, right before a feeling of guilt, another urgent email or shout from the kids sweeps the thought away? Sometimes we even get a clear idea of what that 'something more' is, other times it feels like a wistful fantasy...

This desire for more, or even just something different, is a totally natural feeling - those of us who are awake and enjoying life will naturally feel the contrast between what we have and what we desire. However, we don't act on getting that change, which then keep us stuck in less than and these are the top 5 reasons:
1) Guilt-driven sabotage

Here we say one or more of the following phrases repeatedly and ignore the feelings, stress, illness building in our body as we try and squash how we really feel:

* "I should be happy" - repeating does not make it any more convincing. You're not.
* "I can fix this myself" - which is true but they don't.
* "Everyone else thinks I have it all" - possibly true but doesn't help.

Until you can accept your desires and believe that it is worth your efforts to achieve them, you will find it hard to get over this one. I frequently use the idea of a game to free myself of new limitations that have crept in:

What if this was a game and I had just parachuted into this character, with this body, these resources, in this part of the world - what would I do next and why? This brings us back to the truthful mindset of us as the driving force in our lives.

2) Dismissing it as a mid-life crisis

This longing for something more can happen to you at any point - it may be mid-life crisis or not. It could happen in your twenties if you were a successful entrepreneur at a young age and have achieved your dreams early, or it can take until you are in your fifties to feel that itch. Wanting more does not mean you are in the middle of your life, nor that you are in crisis!

Having studied a number of archetypal stories, I am convinced at the point at which we achieve our 'rags to riches' story (and enjoy our happy ever after for a while,) we become open to the desire of something that transcends our need for happiness and a home, partner, kids, nice holidays... this my friends is The Quest. The Quest is your personal search for transcendence, for something larger than you that is worth dedicating a large portion of the rest of your life to. It can be spiritual, it can be a cause or a movement in society, it can be a group - some people say their Quest is their family, in the cases I have seen so far (including my own) this is a way of trying to convince ourselves back into number 1 above - we have already got everything we need... You may convince yourself for a little while and then that empty feeling returns or your children leave home taking your Quest with them.

There are many quest stories in books and films, my personal favourite is 'The Matrix' as I am a bit of a sci-fi geek... you will have your own favourites - think of what they are and why you like them - there are many clues here as to what Your Quest should be.

3) Too Busy to Notice

I read recently that 'busy is the new lazy' and although this is a bit harsh, it certainly nods to the thinking, or lack of thinking, behind this predicament. 

I have been there several times myself, in a permanent job with back to back meetings, home late, a less than nutritious and delicious dinner, kids to bed, check emails again to keep up with the other time zones (U.S. normally) and then bed myself, in no time at all it seems wake up to the  morning rush of kids and checking emails through breakfast - looking forward to that holiday or upcoming BBQ (which adds even more chaos into the diary) and it's not until you get a few minutes, stuck waiting somewhere, that you think - 'hang on, have I really designed my life this way? Isn't there supposed to be more than this, another way I could live?'

Busy has become a badge of honour; but busyness is not business my friends. Clearing your inbox, proof reading that document (again), finessing that presentation (again) or worse discussing how useless the boss / girl in accounts / guy in sales or your entire organisation are, is not achieving your highest goals. They are definitely not getting you the impact you desire, or that killer achievement for your CV to move on (if that's what you want.) 

The truth is people and organisations are stuck in efficiency (doing things faster, cheaper, smaller) rather than effectiveness (doing the right things, that are important, building value or creating impact on your marketplace.) Worse we are celebrating those who are so addicted to mindless action and business that they are burning out. It's time to think differently. 

Liz Timoney

Liz Timoney helps leaders with an itch for 'something more' in their work and life to find the freedom, meaning and choice they are searching for. She uses narrative psychology and energy techniques to create confidence, abundance, ease and magic.
If you're interested in  finding new ways to work and live to find the freedom you crave then definitely reach out and request a free strategy session today.
FB Comments Will Be Here (placeholder)

Powered By